After having my heart broken into several pieces and then broken again, I came to realize that this "relationship thing" is not for me...yet. Or, I may have just spent 8 years of my life with the wrong person. Yeah, I think it's the latter too.
Girls have always thought of having that fairytale ending where their Prince Charming will come swooping her off their feet and bring her to his castle in a chariot and live happily ever after. I thought I was in that fairytale. Look at where I am right now. Pure BS. Alright, that's enough bitterness for one night.
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| Thanks fanpop |
I am still getting the hang of living alone. December 22 marked the day that I moved out of the condo and into a single room in a dormitory setting house. I was always used to living with someone else that I try to alienate myself, even from my family, because I wanted to prove that I can be independent now. And boy was it hard, especially during the holiday season! Now, I just walk or commute to get to my destination compared to having our own car. I think my legs are already turning into Vina Morales'. I was also used to eating with someone and cannot eat alone. There was this one time that I only ate one bowl of cereal a day because I have no one else around to eat with me! Now, I was surprised that I finished a serving of Curry Beef Pepper Steak in one seating. I now go to bars with friends, hang out with them at coffee shops and even watch a movie - all of which I rarely did while I was married. I came to appreciate the people around me and not have my world revolve around one man. And all this time, he was surrounding himself with all the willing girls he met along the way. Mofo.
But, there comes a time where I find myself missing the companionship that only someone you love can give. I miss talking about our colleagues at the office and how incompetent they are. I miss hanging around in the living room watching him play his video games. I miss cooking food for him or even ironing his clothes. And yes, I still miss him altogether even if he chose a slut over me.
2014, I said to myself, will be my year. A year of new beginnings. A year to rediscover myself. A year of all those other clichés only a single person can think of. It's just Day 9 of my independence and I have a whole year ahead of me. I'll be counting down to that day when I will find inner peace and fulfillment.
